What a dashing young man
Last Updated on Sunday, 19 September 2010 20:50 Written by Sean Sunday, 19 September 2010 19:11
As I mentioned way back when, I entered the Warrior Dash www.warriordash.com and started "training" for it. Well, life has been a rollercoaster since then. I won't get into the details, but let's just say I gave up on a lot of things, and almost on this as well. Well, I'm glad I didn't. To paraphrase a friend, I needed a good day. Boy, was she right, and boy, was this a good day and damn did I need it.
After flying in from a Chicago business trip at 4 am Friday, I dragged up sorry ass awake Saturday morning and headed for Windham, NY. It was an easy drive and we arrived with 90 minutes to spare before our heat. And what were we greeted with as we entered? Why, a sea of warriors of course!
After listening to the band cover everything from punk tunes to Lady Gaga and watching the last fewe heats finish, my co-worker, his wife and I lined up. We saw guys in underoos, a flash costume and tons of dudes running in suits, tuxes, and other inappropriate attire. And then, with a whoosh of flame, we were off!
The first obstacle was nearly the last. Not just for me, but for tons of others. It seems that some sadist decided running up a ski slope for 1.5 miles would be the best way to start the race. From the bottom however, I could only see the first 1/4 mile. Figuring it must level out soon after, I started off running hard. Soon enough the hill drove me to a jog, and finally to a trudging hike. It just got steeper and steeper. In the middle of the uphill were the uphill were the first two real obstacles. The field of tires was strategically placed to ensure my quads would never forgive me. All my prior attempts at conditioning were mocked!
Thankfully the next obstacle was a series of walls which I hopped over with a small measure of grace before trudging along uphill. Several obstacles and more brutal uphill later, I reached the turning point. An ice cold "pond" of water. It was dark and murky and muddy. It may have had leeches in it. Or a kraken. All I know is that it was chest deep and cold. It was actually refreshing. Of course, this meant running with wet clothes and shoes, but at least we were headed a bit more downhill. My trudgery turned into ugly jogging on soggy feet, but I was moving and breathing again.
After a mile or so through some real woody/rocky/slippery trails, I eventually saw and heard the end. Up and over the cargo net and down into the best part. 3 obstacles and a huge mass of cheering fellow warriors, warrior supporters and warrior dogs!
First up the slip and slide you always dreamed of as a kid. Giant, sprayed with hoses and down the ski slope. You can see hit here behind...oh right, the fire hurdles.
Oh that's right, I said fire hurdles. Two piles of burning logs that you had to jump your tired sorry ass over. Some people fell in, but thankfully were soaked and didn't get cooked.
As you can see, while not a towering inferno, they're not joke. From here you could only hear screaming and yelling and cries of "head first" and "belly flop" That's right, one more thing before you get your medal, into the mud pit!.
And when you come out, you grab soem water, a banana, your sweet medal. Oh, and you look like this:
But then after some excellent beer(Thanks Pyramid!) you change your shirt,get a turkey leg and start the merriment!
The band went on until sundown. Lacking lodging , we had to skip the afterparty at a local brewpub. On the way out, we passed this:
a pile of muddy shoes being donated to charity. They get washed and given to people who need em.
This truly was a great adventure, and I'll be doing it again next year.
Lessons Learned
- Practice Running hills...they're murder
- Costumes and groups...awesome
- Underoos are a poor choice, "wardrobe failure" is inevitable. After the cold water, it's just downright embarrasing
- Hydration and proper rest, very important
- Beer tastes best while muddy.
- The Warrior Dash folks put on a hell of an event, well organized and fun
- After a race like this, nobody cares about your time, just that you finished. Everyone that finished is your friend.
So that was my weekend, I'm still recovering today. I'm running it next year though, wherever it may be . I'm recruiting teammates, so come one, come all, the more the merrier. Just finish...that's all I demand of you!
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